Help, Save My Relationship Before Its Too Late!

Restoring Trust in a Relationship, Even After an Affair

2010-01-15T04:06:00.000-08:00

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship. But I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what needs to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems. Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time. You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course. It is not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

How A Rebound Can Work in Your Favor

2010-01-14T08:20:00.000-08:00

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you. Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up. They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back. She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you. It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers. It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off. What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship. If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.” If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football. Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons. Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy. And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship. You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course. Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she’ll start to see the flaws in him. After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away. Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship. When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous. Welcome her back graciously. Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

· Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

· Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry. Once. But move on. She knows the real reason she loves you.

· Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

· Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

· Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship. You can make up with her and get back together. Don’t despair. The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

Emotionally charged experiences = BOND

2010-01-10T06:15:00.000-08:00

Jerome L.S here from overcomeseperation.blogspot.com

Is there something you can learn by being
robbed at gunpoint?

As TW Jackson explains in the Magic Of Making Up System

after your initial contact...you want to set up your
"1st Date" again.

AND...the MOST important part, the secret and
the part nobody else but T Dub will tell ya :-)...is the date HAS
to be EMOTIONALLY CHARGED.

Okay?

That DOES NOT mean 'dinner and a movie'.

because...well...it's BORING...and does not
create a bonding...or in our case a RE-bonding
experience.

In fact, you want to pack in several emotionally
charged mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

Why?

If you just do 'dinner and a movie' you lose
out on a Sociologically PROVEN principle...

emotionally charged experiences = bond

Look at it in another way.

Last time you went to the bank, do you
remember the person in line in front of you?

Behind you?

Probably not. Me either.

But...

What if while you were in the bank, it
was ROBBED AT GUNPOINT?

and the robbers couldn't get the safe open. The
robbers are livid, screaming and waving huge guns
around. The tension feels so thick you could
cut through it with a knife.

You are lying face down on the cold bank floor
and can see your breath fogging up the tile below.

You are trembling...because it is eerily silent
for a moment.

"Oh my god!"

"Where are the robbers?"

"Are they behind me?"

"Are they watching me?"

So you slowly move your eyes around and
see a sweet older lady lying right next to you.

She looks a little like Grandma, and you come
out of your own haze enough to realize that she
is even more terrified than you. She is softly sobbing.

You slowly reach out and take her hand in yours
and give her a little squeeze that says..."it's gonna
be all right."

NOW!

Let me ask?

Are you going to EVER forget that older lady?

and...

Do you think she will EVER forget you?

Not in a million Sundays!

Now...I'm not saying to go rob a bank on
your first date!

But you want to go on an EMOTIONALLY
charged and exciting date...and preferably several
mini-dates in a span of a couple hours.

A short roller coaster ride is one GREAT example.

T Dub teaches you more about things like emotionally
charged dates in the Magic Of Making Up System.

You'll also discover psychological tactics and techniques
you can use to get you BACK on that first date with your
ex again.

Best Wishes,
Jerome L.S

**PS Get a special unannounced bonus called 'Mind Magic'
when you reserve your copy of the Magic Of Making Up
System through this special link:

http://jaerome.makingup.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=track

What really keeps her happy?

2010-01-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

Do you know how to keep a woman happy? Here is some advice on relationships for men.

The first advice on relationships item I have for you is to always be yourself. Many men don’t feel that they are good enough to catch a beautiful, sexy woman, so they put on a show. But a confident man is the sexiest beast around. Have you ever noticed that some of the ugliest guys have some of the prettiest women? That is because they display a level of confidence that is more attractive to women than physical looks.

Next, you should do the little things. This means offering to take her car in for an oil change or giving her a bag of Jelly Bellies (her favorite flavors) from time to time. Sometimes men think in terms of “grand gestures,” when it is the little things add up to long relationships.

This ties into the next piece of advice on relationships: appreciate her. You shouldn’t take her for granted. Let her know that you value her.

Next up is not obviously looking at other women when you are with her. Women think that you are comparing her to the woman you’re looking at. They don’t understand the whole concept of “the day I stop looking is the day I die.” This comes from the biological drive for monogamy in women. Women are looking for a lifetime partner for a man with whom they can raise children. They can’t help it. That’s how evolution designed them. So minimize the ogling, especially when she’s around.

You should try to make her laugh. While men list good looks at the top of the things they need in a woman, women list a man’s sense of humor. So, if you want the relationship to last, keep her laughing.

The next bit of advice on relationships comes in seeking common interests. It’s great if you got together because of a hobby or an interest, but it still helps when you take an interest in a long standing passion of hers. If this means developing an appreciation for foreign films, so be it. This shows that you care about her and she’ll know you are one in a million.

Once you get the girl, it may seem like you don’t have to try anymore – at least as far as grooming goes. And, while women are less sensitive to looks than men are, they still like a man who makes an attempt. So, shave on weekends. Keep in touch with the latest fashion trends for men. In short, don’t get sloppy just because you’ve landed her. You can unland her just as easily.

She’s going to need to know that she can integrate you into her circle of family and friends. A man must be part of her larger life, especially after the first few weeks of passion are over. So, make an effort to get along with her girlfriends and impress her parents. A woman relies on her social network to validate her relationship choices. Make an effort.

You should always be considerate of her feelings. Women are less stable than guys. Part of this is hormonal. When you are sensitive to her mood, you won’t get on her bad side.

The final piece of advice on relationships is to be open to trying new things. At the beginning of a relationship, everything is new from the types of dates you arrange to the way you kiss. But, after a while, these things become routine. If you find that your relationship has fallen into a rut, shake things up. Try something new. It will go a long way to keeping your relationship healthy.

So, there are ten bits of advice on relationships to keep your dating life strong. Look you guys, these things are common sense and the fact is I almost drove my sweetheart out of my life because I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. There is a book that woke me up written by T 'Dub' Jackson called "The Magic Of Making Up". After I read it and began applying his common sense suggestions, our love life turned around. Not only that all of my personal relationships, with friends, co-workers and my family have become much smother than they were before.

You might want to check out "The Magic of Making Up" yourself.

Some of the best selling relationship books could possibly do more damage

2010-01-09T09:01:00.000-08:00

If your ex has just broken up with you, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships. But how do you choose the best books on relationships among the many offerings out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the best books on relationships. And the answer will surprise you. Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name. There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life. Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library. As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35. They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation. But does their expertise work in the real world?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches. They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same. These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either. These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.” This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say. Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents. These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.

For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most? Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her? Will the book show you how to recover from an affair? Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book. Do the testimonials seem a little generic? Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life. If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.

There are many books on relationships on the market. Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches. As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two. Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work. But, everything about relationships are work. Shouldn’t you invest the time and money in the very best book out them?

How Can I Get My Ex Back After He Has Moved On?

2010-01-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on how to get my ex back when he's moved on? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you.

1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.

2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Make a really good friend to him, showing him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.

3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.

4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you are available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.

5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way.

7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up any bad memories, because it will only hurt his bad side, which will not do you any good.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Healing A Broken Relationship

2010-01-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

Broken relationships take an awful toll on everyones emotions. It is one of the worst feelings you can experience. Depending on how much you love your ex the break up may leave you feeling desperate for a second chance. If your willing to do whatever it takes to heal the relationship and make it stronger than ever this is an article for your eyes.

To begin healing a broken relationship one must identify the conflict which severed the union to begin with. Figuring out what you did wrong is so very crucial because you get a good idea of what not to do this time around and that increases potential for a successful reunition. If your
ex has had a problem with you constantly trying to contact them then you know you must stop that behavior. You want to do the opposite of anything you do to provoke your ex. Instead of trying to call or text your ex lover try writing a letter, not email or text message a hand written letter
expressing your feelings. Giving them a hand written letter will show them how sincere you are about wanting a second chance at love.

So to briefly wrap everything up, in order to succeed in getting your ex back you will need to first identify any conflicts from the past that may have caused the break up to occur. Once you do that it is important to list those conflicts for future reference. At this point is where you begin to write a letter in which you express your feelings and such but remember it must be handwritten.

the 3 step approach to getting an ex back

2009-12-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to score your ex back immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But is this really going to make things better? Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"

Step 1 - How to get back with my ex: Accept the Break Up!

First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin/. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 - How to get back with my ex: Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

Step 3 - How to get back with my ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.

How to Get an Ex Back

2009-12-24T08:18:00.000-08:00

Did you just experience a break up? Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Almost nearly every adult as experienced some kind of a break up, and most just work on moving on rather than looking for a way to get an ex back. But if you are over playing the victim and want to put some work in to get an ex back, then there are options for you. Everyone deals with breakup, but does break up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex?

The fact is, 90 percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences.

The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should never come up again. You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place.

The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing ok, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.

Does My Ex Want To Get Back With Me How To Tell

2009-12-22T11:16:00.000-08:00

If your ex is showing you a little bit of interest, or seems more interested in going out and spending time with you than before, or if you notice signs that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then it's okay to be a little hopeful but you need to avoid jumping the gun. Are you asking yourself "does my ex want to get back with me"?

These are definitely very common signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. If you simply jump into things full force, then you may find your ex pushing you back again. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that he or she wants you back, then the odds are, it was you playing hard to get that led to the renewed interest in the first place.

Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. Your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of how many memories were shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons.

Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. And worst of all they may see this as away to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it.

This is common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering "does my ex want to get back with me?", but the truth is, its better to get a feel for the situation before you act. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.